Prologue

...There are times in the wee hours of the night, when I lay wide awake following the rotation of the ceiling fan, visible through the faint streetlight seeping in through the window. These are times when something inside feels like its fleeting away. Like sand from between the fingers. These are memories of many a years since the day I learned to remember. Memories that are slipping away slowly with time. These are the times when i feel a weird objective swelling within me to keep something of these memories as the residual of all the times that brought me where I am today....

I am starting this blog as a biography of my life, as a gay youth who came out at an early stage and as a person who has experienced too many things in too little of a time...

I don't expect or desire any likability with my readers. My intent is to tell my story. If you like it honestly, then i sincerely thank you for understanding me.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

3.0 Kolkata

Ever seen a corn seed dropped into a pan of oil and lit upon a stove. (Isn't such a wise thing to do really) It lets out some threatening but miniscule bubbles and then- Pop! A white flowery shaped element of leisure breaks open. Kolkata is just like that. First you'll hate her. But then you would hate to love her. Any bengali, born and brought up in a metropolitan other than Kolkata, would cry at least once after his or her whole life has been suddenly moved to this City of Joy. But those tears are only a sign for the upcoming guffaw of enjoyment that has never been experienced before. That is Kolkata. It's the dingy rainforest of green algae that eventually grows on you like it does on most things by the end of monsoons. I can't ever possibly comprehend the magnitude of this city's aura in words. I just can't. There are some things that are just meant to be enlivened and experienced.

Even I had the worst culture shock of my whole life. You may wonder, how can I get a culture shock moving to the city of my own culture. Even I asked myself that many a times. There were just too many a things to hate. One thing that still haunts me is the climate. Oh Dear! The Humidity. You never need to take a bath there if you brainwash your mind to replace sweat with water. Specially for the people born and adapted to drier northern climate it's a hell. Literally! You always need a ceiling fan rotating over your head with it's grease deficient mechanical rhythm. Otherwise, love the fact that you will be drenched without rain. Even in winters you are constantly sweating ironically underneath those layers of sweaters which you have to haplessly put on thanks to your overprotective mothers. And then the people. You will always be an outsider even if your fourteen lives belong to the bongs unless you perfect the style of speaking the correct bengali. Honestly, even I don't really know what is that style. It just comes to you with enough time spend amongst the populi. Lots of groupism, lots of politics, lots of backbiting, lots of P.N.P.C (Paro Ninda Paro Charcha: Criticizing others, Discussing others) And even lots of dadagiri.

And the list goes on and on. And it will keep going on until you choose to enlisten the bad aspects. But for once if you just close your eyes and lift the pen up from the list and breathe. For once if you just stop and cease to keep yourself so busy hating your new life and just breathe. You'll smell the fragrant and holy smell of dhuno burning in front of some faded framed photo of Goddess Kali, the smoke breezing away along the southern winds filtering through the swirling leaves of the next gigantic coconut tree and reaching you. It's that fragrance that breaks you free. It's that enlightenment that opens your eyes. It's that feeling that makes you realize. That you're home. Where you belong…

3 comments:

Yadhu said...

Why this silence for almost a year? Its really interesting..... Plz post more...

The Bong said...

yeah... I got a little distracted... have to get my writing cap on again... Will update soon...

asmita said...

Same question as Yadhu. Happy to know you are back :)

Keep writing. Your style is lovely!